


Love and Understanding

by thesalmondean



Series: Interludes [6]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Attempted Suicide Mention, Canon Compliant, M/M, Missing Scene, missing scene maybe, scar mention, self-harm mention (vague)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 01:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8382844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesalmondean/pseuds/thesalmondean
Summary: Aaron sleeps, Robert admires, and Paddy visits. This takes place between Friday October 21 and Monday October 24.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Many people have written their version of this scene, this one is mine. Fits with the statement Robert made on Oct 24 about Paddy visiting while Aaron was asleep. Hopefully it works/fits with upcoming show canon.

He'd been moving about the room throughout the night; flitting anxiously from the hard-back chair beside Aaron's bed, to the slightly more comfortable armchair in the corner of the room, to the edge of Aaron's bed, then back again. Since the scare several hours earlier, Robert had refused to leave the room and the doctors and nurses had stopped asking him to. They'd all assured him Aaron was fine now; they’d administered more pain meds and told Robert he'd be out for the rest of the night. But Robert was taking no chances and flatly refused to leave. So Chas and Liv had reluctantly left him there. He felt a tiny bit guilty, he thought they probably wanted some time with Aaron. But Robert was being selfish and unapologetically so - he wanted Aaron to himself, especially after the day they’d had. There was still some unfinished business and he wasn't leaving Aaron's side until that business was sorted.

For the moment Robert was sitting beside Aaron in the hard-back chair, so close his legs disappeared completely beneath the hospital bed. He had his elbows resting on the edge of the mattress, Aaron's left hand was grasped in Robert’s right, like they were about to arm wrestle. Robert's other hand was wrapped around Aaron's forearm, lightly playing over the roughened texture of the long scar that marred the perfect man laid sleeping before him. A harsh reminder of the last time Robert sat in a hospital waiting for Aaron to wake up. 

Robert heard the hush of moving air as the door to the room was pulled open. Assuming it was a doctor, he didn't tear his gaze from Aaron's face. When no doctor appeared across from him, or spoke, Robert turned to see who the visitor was.

"Sorry," Paddy fumbled as Robert turned to look at him; he'd considered backing out of the room quietly when he saw Robert sat there - but his need to see that Aaron really was okay had overridden all other impulses.

They regarded each other, each taking in how terrible the other looked. Paddy, his arm in a sling and face cut up (and no glasses; _he looked different without his glasses_ , Robert thought); Robert with a cut above his left brow and an ever darkening bruise forming around his left eye.

"I, uh-," Paddy, who stood just inside the door, took a hesitant, shuffling step closer, "-Chas told me what happened."

"Were you in the accident too?" Robert asked, confused while at the same time relieved; he knew Aaron would be heartbroken if something happened to Paddy, no matter how uncomfortable or distant their relationship might be at the moment.

Paddy glanced down at the sling and nodded with a slight shrug.

"Yeah," he suddenly felt like laughing though he wasn't precisely sure why, "and Rhona...well."

Robert's brow rose slightly.

Paddy cleared his throat as the urge to laugh passed, "she'll be okay."

Letting out a slow breath, Robert let the tension that had been building melt away, glancing at Aaron before turning back to Paddy. "You heard about James Barton?"

Paddy nodded, moving another step closer.

"How, uh-," the sight of Aaron in the bed with the breathing mask taking him back to that awful day when he'd tried to kill himself, "-how is he?"

"Just asleep," Robert leaned back in the chair and lowered Aaron's hand to the bed. That was when Paddy saw the ring, a glint of light flashing off it as it came to rest on top the blankets.

Robert was still holding his hand, but had turned from Paddy to look at Aaron again so he didn't see the look of surprise that crossed Paddy's features. By the time Robert looked back at him, Paddy had recovered.

"He'll be ok," Robert added after a long silence that was cut only by the occasional passing doctor, and the humming sounds of the various machines still hooked up to Aaron.

"You were there for him. Again," Paddy pressed his lips together, an odd mix of love and hate for this man swirling in his chest and confusing his head. He couldn't reconcile the man he knew last year to the one sitting in front of him; to the one that Chas had told him about for the last few months. Robert's face, devoid of any ill intent, looked up at him curiously. Robert simply looked done in...and happy?

"You pulled him from that car. You saved him," Paddy reiterated, taking another step closer. If he stretched out his arm he could touch the end of the bed.

"I wasn't leaving him," Robert said quietly, almost to himself, turning to Aaron once more. He fought back a wave of emotional distress as the echoes of Aaron's pleas for him to leave him in that car and save himself played over and over.

Paddy didn't press it, sensing something deeper in that statement - something that wasn't for him, perhaps.  Overwhelmed by his love for Aaron, Paddy moved further into the room to stand next to the bed, opposite where Robert sat still holding his hand. Sleeping like he was, Aaron looked more like the chavvy teenager that had steamrolled into his life nearly a decade earlier than the man dealing with all the anguish he had been facing the last ten months; his face was free of all worry, his brow smooth; his lips almost in a smile.

"So that's what you meant before," Paddy said and when Robert looked at him questioningly he just pointed at Aaron's hand, the one with the ring, feeling an odd sort of jealousy at the softening of Robert's expression, and the small smile that played on his lips.

"My blessing?"

Robert nodded, his thumb stroking the bit of Aaron's hand that wasn't taped up with the I.V. and tubing. The ring was quintessentially Aaron, and Paddy felt a sense of odd disbelief that this was where his surrogate son had ended up - and he didn't mean lying in a hospital having survived a horrific ordeal and near drowning, but rather that he was actually engaged to be married. He felt a small smile form in spite of himself.

"I'm not sure I’ll ever be truly okay with this," Paddy said after a moment. It wasn't lost on him how Robert's face fell into slight despair as he broke his gaze from Aaron to look up at Paddy.

"But if Aaron is happy...," Paddy looked at Aaron again, certain this time that there was the tiniest of smiles on his face. "All I want is for Aaron to be happy and loved. He deserves that more than anyone. So I'll try to be okay. For him."

"I'm sorry for what I've done in the past," Robert said, shame over his past behavior rising in him. "I wish I could take it back."

"Just don't hurt him," Paddy replied, intending it to sound more threatening and warning, but instead it came out as more of a desperate plea.

There was something new in Robert's demeanor, something different than what he'd seen when Robert had come to him the day before. Perhaps they were both different people now because of the accident - or perhaps Robert really had changed that much and it was only now that Paddy was seeing it. For Aaron's sake Paddy hoped it was the latter.

Robert stood quickly from the chair, and Paddy felt a momentary flash of panic rise within him, but it faded as quickly as it had risen.

“I would die before I'd hurt him," Robert said, quite emphatically, and Paddy believed him.

"I'm different now; I'm better. He-," Robert paused as Andy's parting words echoed in his head, "he makes me better."

"He's everything to me," he added.

The earnestness in his expression was unexpected, and Paddy felt like he needed to take several steps back so he could better grasp the scene before him; the moment he was sharing with Robert.

"I love him," Robert added and Paddy nodded.

He could see it. He'd been able to see it for awhile, but Robert’s declaration felt different somehow this time.

Paddy had always thought Aaron would eventually see the 'real' Robert and realise he was all wrong for him. But was he all wrong for him? Robert had supported Aaron through Gordon, and the trial, when Paddy had been largely absent (to his everlasting shame). He'd been there building a life and a relationship with Aaron while Paddy was gone to Germany, feeling alone and pining for his estranged wife. Could Paddy be wrong? Or at least judging Robert for who he was a year ago rather than who he was now? It was very clear he had changed and Paddy could no longer pretend not to see the difference in both of them compared to a year ago. Aaron was lighter, happier, and freer than Paddy had ever seen him. And Robert was friendlier and gentler...kinder even?

If Chas could move past everything, maybe Paddy could as well?

"I know you do," Paddy finally answered back and the relief in Robert's expression took him by surprise.

"Look. Robert," Paddy took a step back, hands hanging at his sides he absently tugged at his shirt hem. "I know you love him. I know he loves you. I love him, too; he’s like a son to me and I would die for him-,"

"So would I," Robert blurted, repeating his earlier sentiment.

Paddy's breath caught in his throat as Chas's teary words echoed in his head - _"Robert pulled our Aaron out of that car. He saved him, Paddy. He saved his life."_  

"All I want, all I’ve ever wanted, is Aaron to be happy and loved -," Paddy nodded, unsure he could finish saying what he knew needed saying; it felt strange, being in that room and talking with Robert of all people.

"I can see you make him happy," Paddy paused, breathing deep to calm his pounding heart, "I can see you love him. I can see he loves you. So I will try; to move on from the past."

Robert's face collapsed and he dropped his head, nodding into his chest. Paddy could see his chin wobbling and though he wished he could look away, he found he couldn't take his eyes off him. He'd never seen Robert cry - at least not like this; he recognized it, the uncontrolled release of escalating emotion breaking free.

A long moment passed before Robert raised his head. Though his eyes were red rimmed and wet, his composure had mostly returned.

"We want the same things for him," Robert said, his voice unsteady.

"It's not going to be easy for me; and I don't know if I can ever really forgive you. But putting it all behind us – that I can try to do," Paddy leveled his gaze at Robert, "for Aaron. Because I love him. And he deserves as much from me."

Robert nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. Paddy fought the urge to return it. There was something cathartic about making the decision to try and let go of that anguish from last year - because no matter what he'd done, Robert had been right about one thing and that was that Paddy had not been there for Aaron when he had most needed him. He had been distracted by his own infidelity and he would forever be regretful for that; not just because he hadn’t been there to support Aaron, but because of the pain it caused Rhona and ultimately because it cost Tess her life.

Forgiveness might never come for all the past hurts Robert inflicted on him, and Paddy felt certain he and Robert would never be friends, but Paddy wanted and needed Aaron in his life and Robert came with him. He had to learn to live with that.

"But I'm warning you, Robert," Paddy moved closer to the bed again, casting a glance at Aaron who was still fast asleep, "if you hurt him in any way, I will come at you."

Robert nodded once, and an understanding seemed to pass between them.

Backing towards to the door, Paddy gazed once more upon Aaron, "tell him I came by, yeah? And I'll come back later? If he wants me too?"

"Yeah," Robert replied. He was sitting down again with both hands back on Aaron, "yes. I will."

Paddy nodded, taking one last look at Aaron before turning and leaving the room. As the door swung shut behind him, Paddy paused, turning and looking in the small window in the door, observing Robert as he leaned over Aaron and pressed a kiss to his forehead. The tenderness in that gesture was contrary to all other experiences Paddy had to draw on from Robert, and he found himself flummoxed. The entire encounter had been as if in an alternate universe, and the most surprising part was that he had believed him when Robert had said he'd changed; and he did seem different now - calmer. Sighing, Paddy rubbed his eyes and made his way back towards Intensive Care, and Rhona.

Robert, as soon as Paddy left the room, felt such a wave of relief wash over him he nearly slid off the chair and onto the floor, emotionally exhaustion. Leaning over Aaron, he stroked back his wild, curly hair and kissed his forehead.

"I love you," he whispered, unwilling to let go of him again but suddenly desperate for even a moment's rest.

Finally he backed away, knowing that if he wanted to be of any use when Aaron did wake up he should force himself to sleep. Moving to the armchair in the corner of the room and curling up under one of the thin hospital blankets left for him, his blazer for a pillow, he stared at Aaron for a moment before his vision blurred and his eyes closed, sleep claiming him before he'd even had time for a single additional thought.

**Author's Note:**

> *since Robert "doesn't mind" Cher, I've titled this little one-shot after one of her greatest hits. :D


End file.
